Hype

Trader Joes Cookie Butter.
People love that stuff, like really love it. I’m a fan of Fall and Holiday season flavors; I love all the pumpkin, gingerbread, maple conceptions that appear. So it wasn’t difficult for a Trader Joes employee to talk me into a jar of Cookie Butter.

That was a year ago and I finally finished that stupid jar this morning. I know Trader Joes has a great return policy, but I just kept thinking I just hadn’t figured out what to do with the stuff yet. I put it on toast, pancakes, with jelly, etc.

This stuff is thick. With an almost gritty texture that always reminds me of lard.

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Several types of sugar and margarine seem to be the basis for this off conception. While its marketed similar to peanut butter, it should really be sold as more of an actual butter. Except it doesn’t melt.

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This morning I finally used up the last of the stupid jar by making my morning oatmeal in it. I microwaved the oats with almond milk right on the jar. The cookie butter didn’t even mix with the oatmeal after a stir. But it’s settling nicely in every artery and pore of my body. I feel lethargic and greasy, from a mere two-ish tablespoons of this awful stuff. But I’m a stubborn, determined person and felt some sick satisfaction in finishing off the jar that has been lingering for way too long.

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6 thoughts on “Hype

  1. That’s one helluva ingredients list. The thing that gets me is all of the parentheticals. It seems like most of the ingredients are for the cookies themselves. After that it seems to be just fat, fat, sugar and emulsifier.

    I know some people who might dare to call this a five ingredient product.

    Contents aside, microwaving foods in plastic containers gives me the heebie jeebies. Actually doing anything with plastic that involves the transfer of heat is something I tend to avoid. Home coffee makers pose a huge problem in this regard. But that’s another story.

    • The ingredients list was scary enough to warrant a picture. The stuff is just weird.

      The jar was glass! Perhaps this stuff’s only redeeming factor? Even cleaning the jar for the recycling bin was a chore because the butter wont melt enough with hot water to come clean.

      I prefer my glass container for leftovers, for safety when microwaving but there is also some nostalgic fanciness that comes along with leftovers served from an old pyrex or corningware versus a stained gladware.

  2. Thanks for the idea though. I’m not one of those people that can eat breakfast before work and not gnaw off my arm before lunch. So having something else besides honey in my desk drawer to mix with my oatmeal (even if its just a tsp) is really really nice.

  3. Whaaat? I’ve never had the Trader Joe’s kind, but the Biscoff brand spread is AMAZING. I love it on sliced fresh apples and straight from the spoon. I don’t think it’s gritty, but maybe that’s because it’s a different brand? Or because it’s just ground-up cookies mixed with fat? Lol.

    But yeah – there’s not much else to do with it besides eat it plain or on apples. Maybe toast? But that seems overkill. I have similar dilemmas with nutella…

  4. Pingback: Trader Joes: Pumpkin Soup | GorgeousGoodness

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